


The Kids Can't Know

by awesomenessinwhite



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 00:56:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4201743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomenessinwhite/pseuds/awesomenessinwhite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is a teacher, and everything is going quite well until a substitute with a dark past and a deep history comes into his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HEY! This is the first fic I'm putting on here. my others can be found on tumblr (awesomenessinwhite) and on wattpad (awesomenessinwhite) enjoy!

I was sitting at my desk, grading papers as any secondary school teacher would do. Why did I assign them an essay on any book written by an American author? That's right. It's my job.

I ran my right hand through my brown hair, using my left to correct grammar and spelling errors. Maybe I should just quit and let my lazy ass do whatever it wanted. Though I wouldn't have money to do so.

I glanced at the time, realizing my break was just about over. Sighing, I put my pen down, and finished eating the orange that I had in front of me.

A couple of minutes and the rest of my food later, a bell rang, signaling the end of break. Great. Now I have to deal with a bunch of 15 year olds getting controlled by their hormones.

Once everyone was happy and seated comfortably (or not, the school's chairs suck), I had the students analyze one of my favorite poems. Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe. What else would you expect from a British American Literature class?

I sat back down to grade papers, only to be interrupted by two girls in the back of the classroom.

"Omg, Becky, do you have the new substitute for biology?"

"Yeah! I'm so happy that Mrs. Levi is having her baby! Cuz we have that hot new teacher," Becky said.

I was honestly curious, so I allowed the two girls to continue talking.

"Did you see his ass? Like ugh, I wanna know what's on the other side." The other girl, Jessica, winked.

"I bet his dick's huge!"

That was enough for me. I walked over to the back of the room, avoiding being seen by the two teenagers.

Once successfully behind them, I placed one hand on each of their shoulders. "Girls, that is not a proper way to talk about your teachers."

Try both jumped. I smiled slyly, hoping that they would understand.

"Wait," Rebecca, or Becky, I guess, hesitated. "Mr. Howell, do you like Mr. Lester?"

I gave them a confused look. "I don't even know him. Just please, respect people who are older than you."

"But he's hot!" Jessica retaliated.

"You two, meet me in the hallway." I directed my attention to the rest of the class. "You guys have a free study hall until the end of class. Have fun."

I walked into the hallway behind Jessica and Rebecca.

"Yes, Mr. Howell?" The two asked in perfect unison.

"Where is this 'Mr. Lester's' classroom? You guys are going to go apologize and I'll go with to make sure you do exactly that."

They both sighed. Of course they did. Rebecca was the one who spoke up. "He's in the chemistry department. Room 412, I think."

"Then let's go."

And we started to walk in the direction of the chemistry classes. But, sadly, the walk was not in silence, as the girls kept asking me questions.

"Mr. Howell, do you have a girlfriend?" Jessica asked.

"No."

"Mr. Howell, do you have a boyfriend?"

I sighed. "No."

"Mr. Howell, are you married?"

"No, girls. I'm not married."

"Mr. Howell, are you gay?"

"Nope."

"Bi?"

The questions were starting to get a little more personal now. "Why does that matter girls?" I sighed.

Rebecca spoke up. "Because we want to know!"

Jessica chuckled. "And that just proved that you are bi!"

Rebecca squealed with delight. "What's you're preference?"

"What do you mean, Rebecca?" I questioned.

"Well, you know, bi people always have a preference. A gender preference. So... Do you like guys or girls more?"

I was regretting asking my question. But there wasn't too much I could do to otherwise prove that they really shouldn't care.

Thankfully, we got to the chemistry department and I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

"Over here, Mr. Howell!" Jessica called out in front of a half-opened door.

"Then go apologize," I stated.

They each let out a huff of air and dragged me into the classroom with them. Why were they so excited about this?

After entering the classroom, I stayed by the door whilst the girls stood in front of me. A man was at the whiteboard, writing notes for what I'm assuming is a lecture. He had hair that was the color of a raven's wings, and from what I could tell, his skin was almost as white as the board in front of him.

I pushed the girls forward, and they let out an annoyed huffing sound. Mr. Lester, as I'm presuming, turned around, his blonde-ish brown eyebrows raised in curiosity.

"Girls, what brings you here?" The strange man asked.

"W-we came here to apologize..." Rebecca started.

"So, we're sorry, Me. Lester," Jessica finished.

Mr. Lester chuckled. "Sorry, what for?"

Both Jessica and Rebecca turned to me. "They, uh, they were disrespecting you in my classroom. And I can not stand for disrespect."

Mr. Lester turned his eyes to me. I couldn't help but notice how blue they were, contradicting his midnight hair. "And who may you be?" he questioned, giving me a quizzical look.

"I'm Mr. Howell, Jessica and Rebecca's American Literature teacher."

He nodded. "And how were they disrespecting me?"

I glared at the girls.

"W-we were saying stuff about how... Um... How hot you were?" Jessica questioned.

"And about how you have a nice, um, a nice gluteus maximus... But maybe not in those exact words..." Rebecca continued.

"And I don't see how that's disrespectful!" Jessica shouted.

"Jessica, this man is a lot older than you and probably not into 15 year old girls. Plus, he could be fired for you saying things like that," I stated simply, as if it was just another English lesson.

Mr. Lester chuckled as the girls muttered another apology. "It really isn't a problem, just please don't do it here as Mr. Howell was right. I would rather not have a relationship other than a student-teacher one with young girls." He proceeded to turn around, though a loud gasp from Jessica stopped him.

"Wait, Mr. Lester..." He looked at her. "Are you gay?"

He blushed.

"Girls!" I half yelled at them.

"No, no, Mr. Howell, it's fine." He turned to Jessica to answer her question. "I may be a little bit gay, or homosexual, I suppose."

The girls turned around with smug looks on their faces.

Before the blush that was slowly creeping up my face could show itself, I grabbed the girls' arms and left the room, shouting a goodbye and thanks over my shoulder.

Rebecca laughed. "I guess his preference is for guys then."

"Just get back into the room and do your work, girls," I said bitterly.

They chuckled as they got back to the classroom and took their seats.

They room was silent as it should be, until the bell rang, signaling the departure.

Jessica and Rebecca were the last ones to leave, chuckling and looking at me in an odd manner.

As they left, I couldn't help but overhear one specific part of their conversation. "I ship it."

Now, I'm an adult who may not know what the "in" things are these days, but I know what "shipping" is. And by the context I was given, a.k.a. the girls looking and chuckling at me, I knew I was a part of the ship. The question was, who was j being shipped with?

I heard a knock at my door and glanced towards it. Mr. Lester stood outside, glancing through the small window, shyly.

Standing up, I clambered over my piles of essays and books and opened it wide enough for the man to come in.

I admit that he is fairly attractive. His black hit contradicts his blue eyes in ways that only artists could perceive. And when he turned to close my classroom's door, I also noticed how perfectly thin he was. (I also noted that he does indeed have a very fine arse).

I cleared my throat. "Erm, hello, Mr. Lester. What brings you to my classroom?"

He turned around to look at me with his azure eyes.

"I just wanted to say that, um, you didn't have to do that." I looked at him. "To the girls, I mean. You didn't have to make them apologize."

I chuckled. "Trust me, it was good for them. They kept disrupting the silence of my class to talk about..." I trailed off, trying to think of a better way to say what I wanted. "... Things."

"What kind of things?" He questioned, and I looked down his body and back up to his face. His eyes grew wide. "Oh... OH! Jesus, no."

I laughed at his reaction. "You're so welcome, by the way."

A pink tinge worked its way up his pale cheeks. "Erm, thanks for that, then."

"No problem. I'll email you if it happens again, though. Making them go all the way to the chemistry building was annoying."

He gave a light smile. "Yeah, about that..." I raised my eyebrows. "I don't get an official school email address..."

I hit my forehead with the palm of my hand. "Oh! That's right! You're a substitute!"

"And substitutes don't get emails..." His voice was filled with sadness.

"Here," I said, pulling out my phone, "give me your number. That way I can get a hold of you."

Mr. Lester nodded and entered his number into my phone. I looked at it once he gave it back.

"Phil?" He nodded. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Dan."

He smiled as he turned to leave the classroom. "Don't forget to text me!" He winked as he walked out.

~~~

The next day, I walked into class, thankful that I only had to teach two lessons. Of course, one of them was the same class as yesterday. And I had them first.

Sighing, I sat down at my desk. I pulled out the papers that I had yet to grade and started reading them.

One by one, the essays were being graded, as well as students were beginning to enter the classroom.

I was halfway done with my second to last one (thank goodness) when the bell rang.

I looked up from the stupid analysis essay to start my lesson. Standing, I watched as the class grew silent.

"Okay, guys. I don't really feel like teaching today." The all looked excited and happy. I was going to ruin them. "But, I will assign you a project." They groaned. I smiled at them. "Now, you can work alone on this project, or you can work with one other person." They cheered again as I handed out the assignment. "You guys must choose a song written by an American musician or band, and analyze it as we have been doing in class. The information is on the paper I just handed out. If you have any questions, just ask."

I sat back down at my desk, trying my best to answer the few questions and finish up my grading.

I soon finished, not too surprised with how well my class was working.

Except for two girls, sitting in the back.

"Jessica, Rebecca, you don't seem to be working."

They looked up at me, shocked. However, Jessica was blushing while Rebecca was smirking.

"Oh, Mr. Howell, we were." Rebecca said.

I held out my hand to them. "Show me your work."

Jessica took a worried glance at Rebecca, but Rebecca kept her twisted smile and handed me the paper that was on her desk.

"What's 'phan'?" I asked, looking at the word circled with multiple hearts.

"N-nothing!" Jessica stuttered.

Rebecca just laughed. "It's a popular American band. I'm surprised you haven't heard of them."

Jessica glanced back at her friend. "Yeah! We were going to do our project on them!"

I glanced at them. I honestly didn't believe a word they said. But as I was walking away, I caught them whispering.

"Are you sure that's his name?" Jessica asked.

"Positive. And 'Phan' is the best ship name for them."

I acted as if I was watching the back of the classroom, but in all honesty, I was just listening to what they had to say.

"I don't know, Dil sounds kind of cute..." Jessica trailed off in thought.

"No! It's Phan. Phil plus Dan. It's perfect."

I was mildly intrigued by this, and slowly made my way back towards my desk as the bell rang.

"These are due in two weeks! I'll give you time in class!" I shouted as they all left.

I sat back down and reached into my pocket for my phone. I searched for the number I wanted, and I hit the "send message" option.

'Hey, it's Dan. I heard something from the girls I think you should know about...'

It wasn't too long after I hit send that I got a reply.

'Of course. I have them now and they keep looking at me and giggling... Please tell me it's not about... That again...'

'No, it's not'

'Then what is it?'

I thought for a while before reaching a complete decision on what to answer back.

'Check in with them and look at Rebecca's paper. Maybe even Jessica's.'

It took a few minutes (or about ten, but who's counting?) before I received an answer.

'I'm assuming that phan isn't actually the name of a television show?'

'They told you it was a television show? Wow, they said that it was a very popular American band to me...'

'So what is it actually?'

'Do you know what shipping is?'

'You mean when someone wants other people to get together romantically?'

I sighed out loud, leaning back against my chair. Thinking of a quick sarcastic comment to reply back, I hit send.

'No, I meant the kind that fed ex does. Yes, the romantic one!'

He took another few minutes to answer.

'What has that got to do with phan?'

How naïve can a person be?

'It's a ship name'

'Whose ship name? Is it from that supernatural show or something?'

I really didn't want to go right out and say it. I feel like that would be weird. I took a minute to answer, collecting my thoughts as to what exactly I wanted to say.

'Think of two names that go into phan. You definitely know both of them.'

At this point I was getting a little hungry. So, I put my phone onto my desk and headed down to the school's cafeteria to get some food. Pizza. That sounds perfect.

I collected my food and returned to my position at my desk, moving to my computer to check Tumblr.

It wasn't until after I logged on that my phone vibrated, signaling the reception of a text message.

'The only combination I can think of is Phil and Dan but I don't know any Dans...'

'Phil, they're shipping you with me.'

'Wait, what? Why?'

'They keep assuming that I'm bi with a preference in men and they know you're gay so...'

'Wait are you?'

'Am I what?'

'Bi?'

'I'll tell you when you're older.'

'I'm 28!'

I laughed. There was no way that he was 28. He's more childish than me and I'm 24!

'Lol dude there is no way I'm 5 years younger than you.'

'Seriously? Wow, and I was gonna ask you out to have coffee...'

I felt heat rise up into my cheeks. I wasn't going to answer.

I felt my phone buzz again in my hand.

'So, will you?'

Before I could answer, it vibrates again.

'Go for a coffee with me, I mean.'

I smiled. The man didn't even know if I was straight or not and he was asking me out?

I'm going to say yes, obviously. I mean, he is kind of hot...

'I mean, you don't have to...'

'I will.'

That sounded too eager, didn't it? I tried again.

'I mean, yeah sure.'

He replied shortly afterwords.

'Eager to see me, are you?'

'Maybe...'

With that, the bell rang signaling the ending of this class and the beginning of the next. And thankfully the last.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Datey Date

The final bell rang and I couldn't get my class out of there quicker.

It's not because I was waiting for Phil. Definitely not. It was just because I was... Annoyed at all of the teenagers? Yeah, nothing to do with Phil.

A knock came yet again on my classroom door just like yesterday.

I smiled as Phil walked in.

"Phil," I said, stifling a giggle.

"Dan."

"You ask me out on a date, and you don't even know if I'm straight or not.?" I scuffed, pretending to be annoyed.

"It's not exactly a date," he mumbled. "You just seem like a cool person to befriend."

I stood from my desk and bent down to grab my bag. As I bent, I looked behind me towards him. Phil's face was slightly more pink than o remembered it to be.

"See something you like?" I winked cheekily and wiggled my bum.

If he was pink before, he was as red as a tomato now.

"Uh, erm, um," he stuttered. "Your trousers, pants, they were erm, they were falling down."

I stood up. "Yeah, they tend to do that. It's hard to keep them up."

He stifled a laugh. "Ever hear of a belt?"

I pulled my shirt up a little to expose my waistline. The belt I was currently wearing was pure black with a small rainbow nyan cat on the edge.

"Well, at least now I know why your students think you're gay."

It was my turn to turn red. "Shut up!"

He smirked back at me. (Jesus it was a sexy smirk). "Let's go, Howell."

"After you, Lester."

And we left. There were no coffee shops nearby, but Phil luckily drove to work. (To be completely honest, I was jealous considering I took the underground to work everyday).

"So, we'll take my car."

I looked at him. "Please tell me that there'll be music. I can't fucking stand those awkward silences on dates."

"So, are you admitting that this is a date?"

"Shut up. But will there be music?"

"Yeah. I should warn you, though, that my music taste might not be the most mainstream." Phil scratched his arm. He seemed kind of nervous.

"Try me."

He unlocked his door, and helped me into the passenger side seat. He gave me three CD holders that seemed completely full.

"Go on. That's the kind of music I like."

I opened the first one, and was created by a magnificent sight. "Origins of Symmetry? You have got to be kidding me."

Phil shrugged. "I told you it might not be the best."

"Not the best," I whispered. "Not the best!"

"I told y-"

"Muse is the best band ever."

He stared at me with wide eyes. "Really?"

"They are my favorite band." I spoke with confidence.

"Mine, too!" You could tell that Phil was delighted to hear this.

I chuckled at his reaction. "I guess we have some things in common."

"Yeah, I guess we do."

We had gotten to the coffee shop and over the period of time that we were in the vehicle, we had gotten to know each other. We had almost everything in common.

Favorite video games: Pokémon. Favorite Anime: Death Note. Favorite book: The Fault in our Stars.

There were some differences, like who out celebrity crushes were. His was Sarah Michelle Gellar (he'd go straight/bi for her) and mine was Jennifer Lawrence (although Kanye West comes at a close second, please don't tell him that).

We walked into the coffee shop and walked up to the counter.

"What do you want?" Phil asked. "I'll pay."

I scuffed. "Phil, this isn't exactly a date. Remember, I still haven't told you my sexual orientation. And assumptions aren't always right."

"I'll still pay." He looked at me with one of the most adorable smiles.

I stared at his face for a little bit, trying to read it. However, I ended up examining it. He had a little stubble on his face (damn it was sexy as hell) and his hair looked so soft that I wondered what it would be like to run my hands through it.

I gave in, his pure adorable sexiness getting to me. "Fine," I said. "I'll have whatever you're having. I'll find us a table."

He nodded to me and I took it as a sign to be able to find seats. Most of the booths, however, were full, but there was a small couch that could fit two adult men. So I sat there and waited for Phil to bring the drinks.

Phil walked back towards me, and handed me a drink. He raised an eyebrow curiously.

"You do know that this is a love seat, right?" he asked.

"Um, oh, yeah. Just this place is kind of... Full."

He glanced around, making sure that there was no other open seats. "Okay, you win. Now move over so I can sit down, too."

I did as requested and felt the warmth of another human body against my thigh. I felt my cheeks grow warmer. I tried to cover it up by taking a sip of my coffee.

"Caramel Macchiato?"

"Hm?" Phil looked up at me confused.

"Is this a caramel macchiato?" I asked the full question this time.

"Oh, sorry. Yeah. It is."

I smiled at him. "These are my favorites, you know."

It was once again Phil's turn to get a red face. "I-I didn't know... They're just my favorites, too."

I smiled at him. This man got better and better with every word he said.

"So, um, Phil," I hesitated asking. "Where are you from? Like, if you worked at our school before, I feel as if I would have met you already."

Phil chuckled. "I moved here not too long ago. I had an epiphany of the sorts and moved away from Manchester to start a new life."

I was genuinely surprised. "Manchester? You don't sound too Northern."

"I change dialect very easily."

"No offense, but why did you choose London?" I asked him, my brain not stopping my curiosity.

"My cousin lives here and I needed somewhere to stay until I found a job and my own place. And she's the only person I like out of my family who lives down here."

I was confused. "Why didn't you just stay up in the North?"

Suddenly, Phil shrunk. "It- it's a long story..."

I nodded. We finished our drinks in silence.

It wasn't until I glanced at the clock on the opposite wall that I noticed how late it was.

"Phil?"

He looked at me. "Yea?"

I pointed over at the clock. Seven o'clock in the evening.

"Oh. OH! We-we should probably go."

I laughed as his face turned red. "Let's go."

He stood up with his head low. I held the door open for him as he walked through.

"So, erm, where do you live?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "That's a bit forward, isn't it?"

"Maybe it's just because I want to see you again. Or maybe I just really like you."

I smiled as I gave him directions to my flat.

I got out of the car, turned and smiled at him. "Call me."

He smiled back as I turned to go into the building and he drove off towards his own.

~~~

The next few days were spent texting Phil between classes and grading assignments I didn't remember assigning.

I didn't see him at all, much to my sadness. But, thankfully, today was Friday, and the weekend was upon us.

I was going to ask him to hang out. We hadn't actually seen each other since the coffee shop on Tuesday, after all.

The bell rang and I dismissed my final class.

"Okay, guys, get out and have a great weekend." I shooed them out.

Rebecca and Jessica were the last ones out, glancing at me and giggling.

"Girls, stay after class."

They frowned and stood by the door. "Yes, Mr. Howell?"

"What are you two giggling about?" I asked. Clearly it had something to do with me, or else they wouldn't have been staring.

"Um, nothing!" Jessica quickly covered, fear tinging the dark caramel of her eyes.

I looked over to where Rebecca was standing.

"We really weren't laughing at anything," Rebecca explained. "It was just some funny joke I told Jessica earlier."

I sighed. Of course they wouldn't tell me. "Fine. You guys can go."

They nodded and as they left the classroom, I heard Jessica shout, "Enjoy your coffee!"

I was as confused as anybody until I heard a quiet whisper come from Rebecca. "And your boyfriend."

It clicked.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and clicked on Phil's number in order to call him. Except this time it was for a different reason than originally planned.

~~~

"They did what?"

"They told me to enjoy my coffee and my boyfriend." I said it with a bitter tone in my voice.

He chuckled, sounding a bit nervous. "You definitely don't sound gay right now."

"I'm not!" I defended myself. "I'm bi!" Shit. I wasn't supposed to say that. I threw my hands over my mouth to keep any more words from slipping.

Phil's eyes widened. "I-I..." he stuttered.

I turned around as to not face him anymore, horrified with myself. He probably hates me. They all do when I say that I'm bi. He's probably turning away right now, wishing that he had never spoken to me. He probable wants to throw me over a cliff and-

I was ripped away from my thoughts by an odd warmth engulfing my torso. My head snapped up, slightly colliding with another.

"Ow," a deep voice said. "And I was about to ask you out."

"But you won't because I'm bi and I can't make up my mind," I whispered quietly.

"No, no!" he panicked. "I was joking because you hit my face with your head!"

I tried to pull away from him, but his grip held strong around my stomach.

"So, what do you say? Will you go on a date with me?"

I turned around to face him, my arms lightly snaking to his back. I buried my head into his neck and nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moo


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dates and annoying teenagers and SPOILERS.

Phil ended up driving me to a hamburger restaurant called "Five Guys".

"I've never seen this place before," I said. I really hadn't, and it was confusing considering I've lived in London for quite a while.

Phil chuckled in response ( and his laugh is extremely adorable). "It's an American hamburger restaurant. Maybe that's why?"

I nodded. "Probably."

We went into the building, my hands in the pockets of my skinny jeans and his hanging loose at his sides.

Once we reached the registry, Phil spoke up. "I'll have a bacon cheeseburger and he'll have...?" He looked behind at me.

"I-uh- I'll have the same," I stuttered from being suddenly put on the spot.

Once again, Phil started pulling his wallet out of his pocket, and I put my hand on his.

"I'll pay." I took my wallet out and handed the registrar our money.

Phil led me to a small table ear the window. I sat down and he motioned that he would be right back. I nodded in response once he left.

He returned shortly after with two small baskets of peanuts.

"Why do you have peanuts?" I laughed in my oddly high-pitched, girly squeal.

Phil just shrugged in response. "They just have free peanuts that people can eat. So I grabbed some."

Satisfied with his response, I took one, cracked it open, and started eating the nuts inside.

"You really like nuts, don't you?" The black haired man in front of me was chuckling, opening his own peanuts and eating the seeds inside.

"Shut up!" I giggled. "I'm not the one who brought them over here to eat!"

Phil held his hands up. "Guilty as charged. I do enjoy my nuts."

We both laughed at this, trying to calm down before eating anything further.

His laughter sounded like a glorious thing, like a gathering of angels in a bass choir.

I reached for my last peanut, cracking the outer shell to receive the deliciousness inside. Instead of finding the salty but inside, a small paper stuck out.

"What's that?" Phil asked, staring at the folded paper in my hands.

"I don't know," I replied. "Should I open it?"

He nodded and I slowly unfolded the small paper.

I glanced up at him to see him nod before I read the not.

'Will you go out with me?'

I looked back up at Phil and back down at the note. Did he write this? More importantly, did he write this for me? And how the fuck did he get the both inside of a peanut shell?

"Wh-what?" I asked, wide eyed as I was thinking everything over.

Phil smiled. "Dan, will you go out with me?"

I was shocked. I mean, yeah he's cute and hot and we like all of the same things, but do I want to go out with him? Apparently, my mouth had already decided as it spoke two simple words.

"Fuck yes."

I leaned over the table and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

He stayed stiff, clearly not expecting this kind of response.

A cough off to my right brought me back to reality and I sat down.

I looked in the direction the odd noise was emitted from to see a young man holding two hamburgers.

He stood awkwardly, setting the food down before saying, "Um, here's your food, have a great day." He turned around and practically ran into the kitchen to do the rest of his work.

I felt the heat rise into my cheeks and knew immediately that I was blushing. "Sorry," I apologized to Phil, making him look quite confused in return.

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked.

"Because I made it awkward and... Stuff..."

He laughed. "No, he was just an awkward teenager making things awkward."

I smiled shyly before looking at the giant American food in front of me. "Let's eat, yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah."

We are our food in silence, occasionally laughing when one of us got mustard on our cheeks or noses.

Once we finished, we settled on sitting at our table, simply talking to each other.

I leaned forward whilst Phil was reliving a captivating story of who knows what. I wasn't actually paying attention, just looking at his beautiful oceanic eyes and watching how animated he was.

After a few moments, he stopped and started staring back at me.

"Are you even listening?" he managed to get out before he erupted into a fit of giggles.

I blushed. "Yeah! Of course I was!"

He stopped laughing and gave me possibly the strangest look to ever exist.

"What?"

"You weren't listening at all."

I blushed in reply, but luckily he just smiled.

"You're so adorable when you lie."

I put my head down into my arms because I was too embarrassed to look Phil in the eye.

I could hear a laugh come from above me. "Come on, Dan. Let's get you home."

I nodded in my arm, then started to slowly stand up from my chair.

~~~

Phil drove me back to my place with no conversation. Until we arrived, that is.

"Dan?"

I finally looked at him, giving him a questioning look.

That's when he pulled me in and kissed me.

It was a short, sweet kiss, barely enough to even count as a proper kiss, but I felt something inside of me flip. My heart?

I sat there shocked, as he pulled away. I felt the ends of my lips curve up involuntarily into a smile.

"Night, Phil," I said, opening the door.

"Night," he called back as I started jogging up the three flights of stairs to my apartment.

I fumbled for my keys, and unlocked the door only to slide down the other side, still smiling.

~~~

School Monday morning was boring. It always was. I'd honestly rather be slouched in my bed, texting some stranger that had somehow waltzed his way into my life.

It's strange, I only seem to see him on Friday nights, when we sit and have nice conversations over coffee or dinner.

Well, that was until today.

I was sitting there, allowing my oh so favorite class to work on their projects. I was playing Tree World on my phone, trying to save up enough tree food to buy the Funky Donkey.

All was well, until there was an urgent sounding knock at the door.

I turned away from the computer screen to look at the door, as the class did the same. I caught a quick glimpse of black hair, and smiled to myself. I just hoped the kids didn't see him.

"Class, please return to doing your work," I coughed out to them. "I'll be right back, there is a teacher emergency occurring."

They all stared at me in silence as I left the classroom. I heard a couple of giggles in the back as I left, but chose to ignore them.

I silently shut the door behind me. "Yes?" I questioned my raven-haired guest.

"We may have a small problem with," he coughed and looked directly behind me at the window.

Sighing, I turned, just in time to see my two favorite students run back to their seats.

"Yeah, I figured. What have the girls done this time?"

Phil spent some time to scroll through his phone, and upon finding what he was looking for, he stopped. "Are you sure you want to see this? Or even know about it?"

"Just show me the fucking picture," I growled back, getting somewhat annoyed. I noticed Phil flinch a little. Maybe I should be a bit more patient with him, him being my now-official boyfriend and whatnot.

The pale man before shakily turned his cell phone towards me, showing an image of two men hugging each other. And, honestly? I didn't think there was anything wrong with it.

"Phil? What's wrong with it?"

He looked at me with a glare that read "are you kidding me?". I decided to look back down at the picture, analyzing it somewhat further.

Then it hit me.

"Wait," I trailed off. "Is that, is that u- who I think it is?"

Phil nodded his head in response, seeming frightened by who knows what.

"Where did you find it?"

Phil shakily gulped, building up the courage to speak. "It's from a blogging site called Tumblr..."

I nodded. "Okay. I have one. Who's the OP?"

Phil looked down at the phone, looking for the the blog's name.

"It was posted by jessickasadness and it has over ten thousand notes."

I chuckled a bit before giving my reply. "I'm actually kind of surprised you know what an OP is!"

Phil pretended to look offended, complete with slapping a hand over his heart for more dramatical impact. "Daniel, do you truly believe that I am too old to be going onto the Internet and various blogging websites taken over by teenaged girls? I am hurt."

I chuckled at his little play, pulling out my own phone to look at this blog. I opened up the Tumblr mobile app, which could use some work with loading the various images, and searched for "jessickasadness".

It wasn't too difficult to find the post, considering the images were loading surprisingly fast. It was also the first post on her blog.

I sighed, realizing that this couldn't have been posted just today.

I took the time to scroll down to read what was written.

Jessickasadness: Oh my god I think my teachers are secretly dating and it's so cute!

Jessickasadness: Update: one of them just called the other into the hall and they're probably making out or something but it's so cute! #phan

I turned my phone towards Phil, showing him the words on the screen.

It seemed that at first he was just concentrating on the text, his eyebrows together, until suddenly they shot upwards on his face, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Sh-should we?" he asked, somewhat timidly.

"Take me for a drink first." I winked suggestively back at him.

He chuckled a little bit. "No, I mean call Jessica out here. To talk to her."

I nodded my consent and turned around to open the door.

"Jessica, can you come out here for a second?"

Her eyes went wide at first, but she quickly regained her composure and followed me through the door.

After closing the door, she looked at me, then at Phil, and back at me. "What?"

I looked to Phil, who seemed fairly nervous. I decided to save him his awkwardness and talk to her myself.

"Teachers have tumblr blogs, too, Jessica."

Once again, her eyes widened. "Um, okay?"

"We saw," the deep voice across from me sounded.

One could very well tell that she was trying to play innocent as she said, "Saw what?"

The poor child. I pulled out my phone and showed the post to her. "This."

She seemed somewhat confused. "That's not me."

I sighed and motioned for her to return to the classroom. "We'll talk later Jessica."

She nodded as she returned through the door.

"What are we going to do?" Phil whispered as he snaked his arms around my waist.

I place my own upper limbs around his neck, and placed my head on his shoulder. "I don't know. I honestly don't know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp. Here it is. Sorry for the long wait. But here. Be happy. I'll try to get another one up within a month. k? Byeeeeeeeee!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domesticity and a cat

The next few days I decided to take off as personal health days. Most of the teachers actually save theirs in case of sickness, and I usually did as well. But today, well, today was different.

I was scared. The picture of me and Phil was on the Internet. It was accessible to anyone who wanted to see it.

I didn't think I could handle it. What if my mom saw it?

I knew I was thinking out of proportion, but my concerns were real. It was as if another existential crisis ran towards me only to tackle my ankles, dragging me down with it.

But my mom is scarier than any crisis I could imagine.

I mean, yeah, sure, I've been out of the house for a few years now, but she's still extremely homophobic. I'd like to keep in contact with her in case of emergencies (and money).

I fell backwards onto my hard bed, staring up at the dank, white ceiling. What if our co-workers saw. What if my boss saw? What if I get outed before I'm actually ready?

There are very few people who actually know that I'm bi, and a little more into the male gender than I should be.

Rattling near the fire escape brought me back to the current world.

My eyes flew wide, hoping that it wasn't anything of supernatural nature, like a ghost or a vampire.

I let out the breath I had been holding when a little black cat with big green eyes walked past. It mewled and pawed at the windowsill, and I felt bad for it.

So, I opened the window, inviting the creature into my home. Its fur was marred back, dirt and mud and possible blood all over its coat.

The cat cautiously climbed in, its tail high and alert. I moved back, allowing the furry being to adjust to my dank flat.

Instead of it running away or even wandering around the apartment, it clambered on towards me. It reached my legs, and started rubbing against me affectionately and letting off soft purrs.

Carefully, I knelt down, attempting to become the cat's height-or at least smaller as I shrank from my six foot three frame. I slowly pushed my hand out, my palm facing the creature as a gesture of friendliness.

Green eyes glanced over me as the cat moved forwards and put its head into my hand. I smiled, and gently stroked the creature until I decided that it was time for a bath.

I pick it up, now seeing that it was clearly a him, and carried him into the small bathroom. I placed the cat in the sink, hearing his mewls of slight protest before I turned the water on.

The cat didn't move, his eyes revealing nothing about what he was thinking.

I grabbed my strawberry scented shampoo (don't question why I have it, it just smells very nice, okay?) and poured a little onto my hands before rubbing them together. I gently massaged the small beast, low, quiet grumbling coming from inside of his chest.

I smiled gently, feeling happy that I may have found a cure to my loneliness, and I realized that it wasn't only because of the cat. It was because of Phil, too.

~~~

Once the little black cat had been cleaned, it was obvious how malnourished the poor thing was.

I searched through my mostly empty cabinets, making a mental note to go to the store when my next paycheck came in, before my eyes finally settled on a small can of tuna. I opened it, pouring out the strange water inside, and set it on the ground. Next to it, I placed a bowl full of water, just enough so it didn't spill over.

The kitten cautiously sniffed the tuna before happily eating it. The smile never faded from my face.

Well, until I heard a loud moan coming from my abdomen. I chuckled, having forgotten to feed myself in the midst of the cat fiasco.

I opened the refrigerator, pulling out a small container containing a small amount of spaghetti.

It might not be enough, but it'll do.

I heated the pasta up in the shitty microwave, waiting for the beep to signify the end of the hearing process.

I pulled the noodles out. They were burning my fingers, so I quickly closed everything as I ran to sit down on the torn leather couch. I smiled, tuning into the news on the television.

I felt my eyes flutter shut no matter how many times I had put effort into what was going.

Maybe going through a crisis wasn't so bad after all.

Eventually, a warm feeling spread through my chest. And it was scary. Was it just the cat? Or was it that I feel deeply in love?

The news droned off in the background as my eyes fluttered shut and I slowly fell asleep.

~~~

A strange light appeared, causing the back of my eyelids to turn red. I groaned, opening my eyes. The light turned out to be the one thing I dreaded the most-the sun.

I sighed, stretching out my cramped neck. It wasn't until I sat up and beards a soft "meow" that remembered last night's events.

I smiled, looking down at the small cat in front of me. "Good morning, buddy."

The cat's ears flicked towards me, his black nose twitching. I stood up, looking over at the clock next to me. 7:15.

I groaned, knowing that I would either have to take yet another sick day or actually get dressed and ready for work.

I stretched out, my t-shirt rising to reveal my lower stomach, and stood up. Thankfully, I had taken a shower yesterday afternoon, so I was clean enough to go in.

I pulled on a black button down shirt, grabbing a pair of trousers to match before rushing out the door, quickly grabbing some cereal and scratching behind the nameless cat's ears.

Today was going to be hell. And to make it even better, it was a Monday.

I groaned, hopping onto the underground to make it to work by 8:30.

~~~

It seemed to take forever to get to my classroom, unlocking the door with a precision I'd never have had before.

I shuffled in, turning the lights in and sitting on the swivel chair behind my desk.

What had my students been up to while I was away? I had let the substitute know that they could have a free period, so I'm unsure how far we had made it, especially with me being out for the majority of the past week.

I sighed, running a hand through my fringe to find...

Curls?

I groaned, knowing that I have had no time to straighten it today, and I hadn't been burning my hair for the past week. I probably looked awful.

I opened the front view camera on my phone, flicking up the brightness as to better see myself.

No. I couldn't deal with the curls.

Maybe I can still leave if I felt sick enough...

I looked around quickly, assessing the amount of time it would take to make a clear getaway. And seeing as no one was in the classroom, I could easily make it before the first bell rings-

Never mind.

A student walked in, taking a seat in the middle of the classroom where he normally sat.

There goes another one of my days off.

I rummaged around my desk, looking for something to do, when I remembered the project I had assigned not too long ago. I smiled, remembering that it was due two weeks from the day I had given it out. And the two weeks was up today.

I sat back, waiting for the bell to ring as students filled my classroom.

I had gotten another few lazy days, despite the lack of comfort my home provides me.

~~~

Halfway through the day did I realize that I should have a plan in store for the next lesson I would be teaching. Sadly, I had none planned.

Maybe we could study American poetry, romanticism, or even better, dark romanticism. Or we could study a novel, such as The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn or Catcher in the Rye.

I would probably do just that, leaving the students to discuss the prostitution and slavery in said books.

I say back at my desk, stomach humming in hunger. I had forgotten to go grocery shopping over the past four or five days, despite my "being-home-all-the-time".

I looked in my desk, finding an old granola bar, hopefully still good, as I munched on the end of it.

I looked back at the clock. I still had an hour of break left, and I felt as if I had nothing to do.

I opened a nearby novel by some long-dead author, starting to read the first few words. Surprisingly, I don't think I had read it before.

I was getting into the novel, reading about how the men on Nurse Ratchet's hospital floor obtained their cigarettes to play poker, when a slight knock rapped on the large metal door locking me in this hell.

I quickly bookmarked the page, throwing my empty granola bar wrapper into it, and stood up, inviting the reading intruder into my humble classroom.

"Dan!" I heard as I shut the door behind him.

I smiled slightly, forgiving the strange man for interrupting my peace.

"Hey, Phil," I said quietly, attempting not to sound as awkward as I probably did.

"A-are you alright?" Concern laced his sweet voice, like a smooth caramel drizzle atop a sundae.

"I-yeah. I'm fine. I just had a small crisis." My breath noticeably hitched, and I cleared my throat to make the situation sound more bearable. "It happens all the time."

The man showed a face with worry so obvious, it wouldn't be more noticeable with the word "distress" tattooed on his chin.

I sighed, defeat coming out through the air. I glanced up at him quickly, before wrapping my arms around his slim neck, tucking my head between his shoulder and collar.

"I'll be fine, don't worry about it, okay?"

He seemed reluctant to return the hug, finally giving in and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Just-I don't want you to get hurt." The way he said it seemed familiar, as if he had gone through something similar.

I pulled back, giving him what I hoped was an inquisitive glance, before looking at the clock. Two minutes until break was over.

Looking back to Phil, I let out a deep breath. "You should probably go, break's just about over."

He nodded, turning and walking to the door. After gripping the handle, he turned back, winking at me as he spoke the next few words. "Hey, if you want, we could hang out tonight. Do whatever you want to do. I honestly wouldn't mind."

"Well, I hope you don't mind grocery shopping then," I chuckled.

Phil turned the knob on the door, giggling softly. "Just meet me by my car after classes end, okay?"

I responded with my out "okay", reminding me of that John Green book and allowing him to slip out of the classroom, just before the bell rang.

Instead of the numbing pains of hunger I had felt earlier in the hour, my stomach was afloat with nauseous butterflies and toxic heat.

It'll be a long three hours until school ended, wouldn't it?

~~~

I yawned, waiting for the final bell to ring.

Five seconds.

Four.

Three.

Two...

One.....

RIIIIIING!

I stood up, gathering the papers the students handed in, as well as my wallet and keys.

I ushered the students out quickly, not paying attention to them as I shit off the lights and locked the door behind me.

I walked down the hallway, my tall frame looking awkward amongst the fifteen year olds surrounding me.

My long strides carried me down the stairs and, finally, to the back door leading to the parking lot.

I looked around for the black Toyota Phil drove to work everyday.

I shuffled my feet to the car, leaning myself against the Avalon, closing my eyes, and waiting for the sound of footsteps.

It wasn't long until i was the only one in the parking lot, still leaning against Phil's car, waiting for the man to come to my rescue.

Besides, I was still fairly hungry, and there was a random cat bustling about my apartment.

I felt a semi-familiar pair of lips on my own, causing me to open my eyes. I smiled into the kiss, reluctantly pushing Phil off of me.

He smiled in return, unlocking the car and clambering inside. I followed in suit, opening up the door on the left.

"So, my good sir, where to?"

I giggled at the man's nerdiness. "Just the Tesco down the block. I need food for myself." I paused, remembering the cat that had made my flat his own. "And my current house guest."

He gave me a curious look. "House guest?"

I nodded. "Yeah, he's got black hair, a cute nose, and his eyes are gorgeous. Might end up replacing you in the long-run."

"Oh." He sounded disappointed.

"Yeah, and his ears are adorably pointy and his tail is nice and sleek." I waited to judge his face before giggling.

"Oh!" He started laughing with me, finally understanding about the cat.

"But I might end up inviting another cute onyx-haired friend over as well."

He looked at me as I looked back at him, trying to force the question out of my eyes.

Smiling, he pulled into the Tesco parking, finding a spot in the middle and pulling over into it.

"I think that friend of yours would love that."

I smiled, feeling my cheeks heat up ever so slightly.

"But," he exclaimed, "We must first travel the universe with domestic grocery shopping!"

I giggled. We both got out of the Avalon, with me grabbing Phil's hand as we started our domestic adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm probably going to update this once a month, near the end of the month. Idk. I have a surgery sometime in december so lets see.


End file.
